One Year

A powerful year... A simple decision... An empowering commitment... Action and more action. And acceptance is the answer... ... One day at a time

One Whole Year

Today marks one year clean and sober! One day at a time...

A Grape Juice Toast to a Sober Work Year Ahead

This is my first day of a brand new work year... And I'm Sober! While I began getting sober during the end of the last work year... I've never launched a new work year (with all the changes, lack of control, challenges, personalities, politics, anticipation anxiety, authority figures, lifestyle changes and fear) without medicating myself... * I'm grateful to have a job at a time when so many do not. * I'm grateful for having had a summer off to self care and to enjoy several meetings a day, study the literature, develop a network of support, and to cleanse my body of the ill effects of binge drinking.... * I'm grateful for the knowledge that the challenge begins a day at a time. * I'm grateful for a morning Round Robin meeting that's along the walk to work, that I plan to stop in today to launch the work year on a bright and positive note. * I'm grateful for Twenty Four Hours A Day for a morning meditation to help launch my day... Here we go...

Day 68 Luxury Problems

One of the "benefits" (although that may appear to be an unfortunate word choice) of these AA meetings that I'm attending near Times Square, is that I hear sooo many stories of people who are really struggling with major, and sometimes life-or-death challenges... The "benefit" I get from these shares is the reminder that all my problems today are really luxury problems. I'm so grateful to have: 1) a roof, 2) good health and 3) food; All are available to me today. All the rest of my problems, no matter how I may focus on them, are luxuries in the grand scheme of things... My Higher Power puts these people in my path every day to remind me to enjoy the gratitude... But still, I feel a little guilty about it sometimes. And I accept that, too... I shared my day count of 68 days at the meeting this morning. There was a newcomer there with 40+ days today, so I wasn't alone in the day-counting dept.

Day 60!

Just checking in... ... Am grateful to count day 60 today. Doing meetings... Counting days... Starting Fourth Step work with a sponsor... All is well... But for the grace... Listen to this song... It's the song that resonates for me today...

Day 55 Meeting & Gratitude List

Was feeling antsy midday after spending the day at home doing chores... So, I decided to wander over to a clubhouse meeting rather than wait for the usual 4pm one at that same spot... Was especially good as it was a beginner's meeting and pretty small. Everyone talked strong recovery... about the importance of meetings and not drinking a day at time... The speaker had 2.5 years after many "geographics" in his life, and each "geographic" eventually lead to a relapse... And had been incarcerated several times for thinks he did while drunk... The chair was an alcoholic and self-described "cracktologist" (with six mos) who ended the meeting stressing the importance of God in his recovery. At 4am when he needs help it wasn't always easy to get someone on the phone. He needed to turn it all over to a higher power in order to ask for help on a daily basis. Sometimes many times daily... He pointed to the signs on the clubhouse walls which read "Easy Does It" and "First Things First" and said "not a single sign sez 'Over-analyze how it works' or 'Think a lot about this program.' He believes in giving it to God in order to beat his addictions as his years of "thinking" got him nowhere. At this meeting day counters from 0-29 days shared first, 30-59 shared second, and then 60-90. Then to a "show of hands." I read "How It Works" aloud at the beginning of the meeting, and someone else read "The Promises" right before the Serenity Prayer at the end. Today is my 55th day in recovery.

I am grateful... For a good meeting today; Getting a slew of chores accomplished today; no urge to drink alcohol today; the thought of the taste of tequila seems distasteful today; the satisfying feeling that I am replacing my old habits with newer healthier ones, a day at a time.

Days 53 & 54

Sooo glad to be back at my regular meetings in midtown Manhattan. What a gift to be able to walk to meetings at just about any time of day... Kind of amazing, actually... Still counting days... I've been the first to share at the last two meetings... And I appreciate that they are usually small meetings with ample time to share regularly. As a newcomer, I have found that to be an important requisite.. To find small meetings, share often, and break the isolation. Today is day 54. Am grateful for ALL of the above! Clap, clap, clap...

Days 51 & 52 Meetings and Gratitude List

Still sober... More thoughts on these meetings down here in this small burg in Maryland... Part of the difference, and I think it's huge, is that a large percentage of the attendees seem to be court ordered... There is a procession in the beginning of the meeting of people putting blue cards on the front desk that are rubber stamped by the stern-looking "tough love" chairman... A whole different dynamic than the NYC meetings where most people are there because they brought themselves to the meeting because they have accepted powerlessness... Now, I don't mean to take anyone else's inventory, but in the round robin clearly most of these blue paper people would "pass" on thier turns to share and couldn't wait to get out of there... Most left early... Not that they are bad people. Not that they aren't exactly where they need to be. And not I am not granting that "Acceptance is the answer..."... Just sayin that it adds an icy dimension to the whole meeting character that I find unsatisfying... But I'll be back among beloved New York drunks soon enough... Tomorrow in fact, and will surely hit a meeting straight away... A shout out to my sponsor who was kind enough to keep in touch with me during the road trip. Thanks, pal... Today, I am grateful... * That my folks are in relatively good health and relatively good spirits today... * For morning bird chirps... * the best little doggy in the whole wide world and his joyful rolling in the grass... * Deer... * Public library Internet access. Free, too!...

Days 48, 49, and 50 Meetings & Gratitude List

I'm on a road trip to see the family... I fully acknowkledge that I'm completely spoiled by NYC where I can walk to a meeting at any time of day in any part of town... Here in the boonies, they are fewer and farther between, and despite the fact that cell coverage is spotty, I have managed several important chats with my sponsor... The meetings are all "strange"... Stuff we do at the break, and at the end of the meeting they do first... And they close with the Lord's Prayer which seems ghastly too-denominational to me... But when in Rome... Anyway... So, I'm sober. Today is day 50... Not sure how much longer I'll be here before I flee back to the greatest city in the world... Stay tuned... Today, I am grateful... * For a little computer time at the local public library. * For the fortitude to attend meetings even though they aren't familiar to me... * For time to read... * For a happy doggy. * For the good health of my loved ones today!

Day 47 Meeting and Gratitude List

Hit a morning meeting today... Several newcomers on hand. This little meeting in the Times Square area never ceases to amaze with a revolving roster of visitors from out of town and/or other NYC meetings. Actually, it's in a building where one of my theatrical Directors used to live over top of a strip joint. So that doorway provides other memories, including lots of booze and smoke available at his parties in the 1980's and 1990's.... I needed to hear today's speaker's experience, strength and hope with the first and second steps, particularly... That was the thrust of his share... As for my own share, I told the group this would be my last time here for a few days while I hit the road trip... Am having a hard time locating meetings located exactly where I'll be for most of the time during the time slots that I can attend... But I'm sure it'll work out... Meanwhile, I've alerted my sponsor here in NY that we may need to to a telephone meeting together if I can't hit a meeting on any given day... He's cool with that. I am grateful... * That I was able to get to a meeting today. * That, today, I am able to trust that all will be fine with working the program for the next few days on the road. * For a strong sense of a higher power, today. * For all the birthday cards, wishes, and greetings I've received as of today. * For air-conditioning.

Day 46 Meeting & Gratitude List

Shared at this morning's meeting that it's my birthday. The REAL one... Which lead to loads of "Happy Birthdays" from the fellow meeting-goers... Which lead to me saying that I've never really felt happy on it. Always in the shadow of the Fourth, this has been hangover day... While most friends are all off somewhere still celebrating the 4th, I'm actually perfectly content to enjoy some ME time... The challenge will come this week when I travel home to see the folks, as one program person has stated: "Nothing puts Miracle Grow on your character defects like family"... I'll spend some time today making a list of Maryland meetings while I have unfettered Internet access at home... It's a milestone, though, that this will be my first birthday in Sobriety... As I have joked to some friends... I drank enough in the first 50 years... I am grateful... * that I'm a healthy 51 today. * that I'm a healthy 46 days today * that there's a healthy doggy curled on my lap as I type this today. * that my folks are healthy today. * a healthy lunch today.

Day 45 Gratitude

Today, I am grateful... * For a fabulous Fourth. 80. Low humidity. * A loooong walk. * A hearty lunch at Brother Jimmy's BBQ * Fireworks down the street, if I want them. * Another day without medication. (Chocolate Citarella cupcake excepted!)

Day 44 Gratitude

Today, I am grateful... * For A/C. * For a good tiring day. * For taking care of business and putting sobriety first. * That I am better able to show up for others when I'm sober. And * For the best little doggy in the whole wide world.

Day 43 Gratitude

Today, I'm grateful: * For the raging thunderstorm enjoyed from the comfort of my nice dry couch * That I am putting my program first today. * That I have 43 days under my belt. * Seinfeld reruns still make me laugh. * Afternoon naps during thunderstorms after writing a gratitude list. LOL.

Day 41 Gratitude List

Today, I am grateful... * For a nice morning meeting that punched re-set on the day...* For the Zen of doing laundry.* For my sense of humor which provides an excellent coping strategy when I let it.* For naps when needed. they also tend to punch re-set on the day.* For the artistic outlet of photography...

Day 40 Gratitude List

Today, I am grateful:

# For my first Monday of Summer break. # That told a family member who is in recovery with 3 years, that I have my first 40 days today. # For a city that never disappoints with new and exciting stuff to do and see.... # That I could afford a nice breakfast and lunch at two of my favorite Hell's Kitchen spots today. # That I knew the first names of everyone at the morning meeting today.

Day 39 Gratitude

Today, I am grateful... * For the support of some friends, old and new, in my new journey in recovery. * That I can ignore the lack of support from some friends as their own fear and can move forward without resentment. * That there are several meetings today to choose from, including a 74th Anniversary bash on NYC Intergroup at a huge hotel near my home. * For this quote of Quentin Crisp's that sums up the concept of Gay Pride: "I don't think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn't something you've done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed". * For the Internet, where I am always learning new things and progressively exercising my creativity in new and exciting ways...

Day 38 Meeting

Got to a Morning Meeting... on 42nd Street. A woman chaired that I had heard qualify my first time here. She read a story about a woman with liver disease that started with her reflecting on how she enjoys Sundays so much better today than she did before recovery. This launched me on a share of how I prefer this particular Saturday morning to the ones of the last eight years when I launched my summer vacations with a super binge and would have still been struggling with a severe hangover by the time of this meeting. Already, had breakfast, read the Times, got a haircut, shopped at the Green Grocer, walked the doggy, and sunned and walked along the Hudson River enjoying my hobby of photography... and it was barely 10:30am... I also related my plans to get to meetings, and begin to work the program during my first Summer in recovery. I topped off the meeting with a nice lunch at BBQ... It was a meeting of gratitude, so no need to do a gratitude list today. And when I got home, I was actually energized to tackle a slew of chores...

Day 37 Gratitude List

Today, I am grateful...

- That today is the last day of work for ten weeks... - That I'm in great health today. - That my problems are relatively few in the scheme of things. - That Michael Jackson's untimely death (at my same age) actually empowers me to make a point to live life more fully. - That I'm committed to celebrating the last day of work at a meeting today and not the traditional blowout drunken bash of year's past...

(Message composed on my T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009 mobile device).

Day 36 Gratitude List

Today, I am grateful...

* That today is the last FULL day of the fiscal year before a nice long break. * That today's prior commitment to an Anniversary celebration trumps a Boat Basin bar blast. * For gratitude, which lights up my life. * That I'm not the guy who wrote "You light up my life." * That I'm on a well worn time tested path to enlightenment today...

(Message composed on my T-Mobile Sidekick LX 2009 mobile device).