Living With a Drinker

It's hard being around other drinkers and stoners when you aren't indulging... And it's so hard not to take their inventory... I can only imagine the challenge if you are living with the person... You just live your sober life... Either they will want what you have eventually... or they won't...

I never recognized my patterns as alcoholism til I read "The High Functioning Alcoholic"...
It's SOO much easier to quit than it was to regulate it... And I handle things much better during the week because I'm not saving up all the little resentments to "get even" with a binge... Like I said, they'll either get it or they won't... Either way, it's God's will.

A Note to a Newcomer

Good Morning, Grasshopper...
Glad to hear you are taking to "the program" like a duck to water.... That's how it worked for me, too... With enthusiasm... I like that you are replacing cocktails with soothing Trader Joe teas... I gotta try the calming one you mentioned... Also, I know you like dark chocolate... I buy the gigantor 72% ones at Trader Joes and use their tiny squares when I need my endorphin blast... Also... Meditation works for me... And if I drift off from that into a short REM nap all the better... The self absorbed stuff I totally relate to.... The beauty of the steps is that they lead to Step 12... Where u come out of all the me me me to share at meetings, maybe do service, whatever, to help others... Just showing up in a newcomer meeting and sharing your own journey counts as service.... Whenever I help others, it's still about me... LOL... But I don't feel as greedy about it.... LOL... It's awesome that you knocked off your step 4 already.... A lot of people procrastinate that one for years. My sponsor had me complete Step 5 on my 90th day... And I'm still grateful to get the writing and sharing of that inventory out of the way so early....
I think I told you I used to take great pride in how many shots I could take... And surrounded myself with others who would support that... Now it's turned upside down.... There are still many situations I'm in where I just tell folks "No thanks... I'm not drinking today" and I happily order the club soda with lime.... After a while, people will notice there's something going on and will ask you about it and then you can decide how you want to handle it...
Especially at first, sensitive types like you and me might not want to make ourselves vulnerable to people that aren't sober.... There's a lot of fear and misconceptions about the program and abstinence.... If you feel like you're nuts and are about to drink or toke... Get to a meeting... Call your sponsor, or call a sober friend, including me, FIRST.... The pink cloud may not last forever and there will be challenges (like dead chihuahuas, skin cancers, dying loved ones, etc) along the way... But for me it's soooo great having a new support system at the ready... An addressbook full of sober friends, and the gift of a zillion meetings within walking distance at virtually all hours... It's group therapy for a dollar... And as a result for me, medicating reality is "off the table" as an option today...
Keep me posted!