Sunday, October 25, 2009

My Doggy Died

Have been struggling to find any gratitude in the sudden passing of my beloved young doggy on Friday. Came over to the Museum of Modern Art to see the "Monet Water Lillies" and find myself meditating in the Sculpture Garden and suddenly feel compelled to let a gratitude list flow: *For six years of loyalty, joy, laughs, licks, cuddles, and love.* For feeling closer than ever to my Higher Power right now...* For the love and support of many friends. Especially the dog people. And the unfamiliar ability to let that love in.* The valuable lesson that it's okay to cry with others...* That he suffered as little as possible and it was quick.* That I know that he is exactly where he needs to be right now, and that the emotions will eventually catch up to make acceptance complete because acceptance is the answer.* That I had the ability to have full-time quality time with him before his final sudden turn and I got to see him off in my arms keeping my commitment fully.* That I had/have meetings to stick close to during this difficult time.* That I was sober throughout and am remaining so today...* That I had the opportunity to prove to myself that I could be a loving dad, a responsible and thorough pet owner. * To exercise the capability to give and receive unconditional love from another.* That it's okay to feel emotionally devastated.* The innate awareness that this, too, shall pass. And especially if I don't choose to medicate the uncomfortable feelings today.* The reminder that life is short and a profound reminder to live one day at a time to the fullest.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Purple Chip!

Picked a four month chip yesterday. One of the meetings I attend regularly does the chip thing to celebrate every month in the first year. (Most New York meetings seem to skip from 90 days to one year, and then yearly)...  The chairman explains that we pick up these chips not for ourselves, but to show the newcomer that sobriety is within reach... So I got me a purple four month chip!... The last meeting of the month brought along the coterie of Anniversary speakers: one with 90 days, three with one year, one with three years, and one with 25 years... One speaker noted that we are ALL just as close to the next drink... Another pointed out that she reaffirms daily: "No matter what, I will not pick up a drink or a drug today! No matter what!.... This too shall pass". That mantra has worked well for her for 25 years and counting...