Sunday, October 25, 2009

My Doggy Died

Have been struggling to find any gratitude in the sudden passing of my beloved young doggy on Friday. Came over to the Museum of Modern Art to see the "Monet Water Lillies" and find myself meditating in the Sculpture Garden and suddenly feel compelled to let a gratitude list flow: *For six years of loyalty, joy, laughs, licks, cuddles, and love.* For feeling closer than ever to my Higher Power right now...* For the love and support of many friends. Especially the dog people. And the unfamiliar ability to let that love in.* The valuable lesson that it's okay to cry with others...* That he suffered as little as possible and it was quick.* That I know that he is exactly where he needs to be right now, and that the emotions will eventually catch up to make acceptance complete because acceptance is the answer.* That I had the ability to have full-time quality time with him before his final sudden turn and I got to see him off in my arms keeping my commitment fully.* That I had/have meetings to stick close to during this difficult time.* That I was sober throughout and am remaining so today...* That I had the opportunity to prove to myself that I could be a loving dad, a responsible and thorough pet owner. * To exercise the capability to give and receive unconditional love from another.* That it's okay to feel emotionally devastated.* The innate awareness that this, too, shall pass. And especially if I don't choose to medicate the uncomfortable feelings today.* The reminder that life is short and a profound reminder to live one day at a time to the fullest.


Scott W said...

Wow, Todd. That was really moving.

You are one day closer to the acceptance part.

dAAve said...

Your experience will help others many times, I'm sure. You have handled another of life's curveballs without the need to run.

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